On Victoria

Recently I heard the tragic news that Olympic gold-medal winning cyclist Victoria Pendleton came close to suicide last year. But something about the article put my back up. What follows is an ugly poem, written in anger and directed at the media, rather than Victoria. I do not share it lightly or proudly.



look
no offence
but we're just not on the same page here
your press release and i
some of us who suffer depression
we can't point to a definitive medical cause
like
hypoxia sustained while attempting to climb everest
for example
for some of us it's a shadow
which follows us every day
and could choke us
at any time
without rhyme or reason
for some of us it is a drug
and when we get a taste
we surrender to it
letting ourselves be 
  dragged
    down
      into
        negativity
where we dwell in shadows
and refuse all light
because darkness
brings a sort of peace
for some of us
it won't simply
"pass with time"
some of us
can't just call our mate
who happens to be an international sports psychologist
yeah
sure
we can ask frank
or the samaritans or whatever
but honestly
what the fuck are you supposed to say
so i know this isn’t nice
and its not what i’m supposed to think
but when you say to me
that a celebrity depression has been spotted
its causes identified and labelled
its symptoms treated
and there is no cause for concern
all i want to say to you
is
fuck off